Lately, I have been actively seeking more information related to interruption. It’s fascinating, really.
Research (here and here and, more broadly, here, to start) shows that women are interrupted significantly more frequently than men are, and that men are significantly more likely to interrupt than women, and that men are significantly more likely to interrupt a woman than a man.
Interruption. [Excluding confounds like a (sometimes, but not necessarily always, because that can be gaslighting) scenario-dependent, operational definition of the term, and also the whole binary thing.] It can be a great – but super lame – tactic to subtly exert dominance over the person you’re conversing with. Even if the conversation is about nothing.
*You are genuinely impacting their ability to add to the conversation by doing so.
*You are preventing them from completing their thought in conversation form.
Though the articles I have been reading have pointed out several interesting and also dishearteningly gendered facts, I would like to point out something else that I learned: the significant interruption of women studied did not always observe that the interruption of women came from a man (here). This is to say:
We interrupt women. We interrupt them.
Recently, I met someone new who made an assumption about something I was an expert on. As in, it was something that happened to me. This person unfairly bombarded me without even the most remote understanding of what the situation was. We had just met. I politely listened to what they said. When they finished and I went to respond, a finger was lifted to silence me. They grabbed their phone and they told me they had someone they needed to speak to. [Sometimes, I am very tired.]
Sometimes, cake doesn’t resolve exhaustion. However, it does always add to a given situation. And we generally always allow it to add to.
Warm molasses goop whisked with pumpkin and spice wafts warmth from the oven, straight out of which, it meets cinnamon-tinged glaze. At room temp, the icing crackles under the pressure of your fingertips and your lips.
Perhaps I will shove this cake into any interrupters’ mouths from here on out.
Extending well wishes to you and yours this season / sending love, especially if you need it, and even if you’re an interrupter (I guess). ❤