Thank You.

carb based // Queen Smithereen.

Hi friends,

I have some news for you. Whew, there isn’t an easy way to say this:

With great thought and consideration, I have come to the decision to take this site down. I quietly started a side project that spoke more to what I wanted to create all along. It has been a very slow process, but I have been wanting to make this change for so long, and I am so happy that I finally stopped and listened to the teeny tiny voice that was telling me to do that.

My new project DOES involve most of the recipes you have encountered here. [I have slowly been transferring everything over, and I will continue to do so in the coming months.] But, beyond that, it speaks to all of me. There are a lot of you who follow, and only some of you have actually met me, so let me just clarify what I mean here:

I am eccentric. It is my favorite part of my personality. The reference to smithereens was meant to represent the many facets that comprise the ME that you encounter. But, I have found that it gets lost in translation here. I also dislike the subconscious metaphor I may have set in motion; although smithereens can be bits and bobs and morsels, so, too, can they be something blown up.

Where I have shared recipes here alongside anecdotes and life ponderings and yoga experiences and playlists, I have found there is a similar loss in translation. So, I created something new. Something that is simply meant to be a resource for all the highest and purest of intentions in life: soul-sourced meditation ideas and visualizations; explorations of sensuality and sacred femininity; recipes categorized intuitively to indulge or nourish or quench; explanations for all the stuff your yoga teachers state in class that you would never understand without some sort of guidance; moon cycles; crystals; creative inspiration; writing and visual creativity prompts; essential self-care rituals and practices; ways to strengthen your intuition; suggestions to invite more wellness, abundance, satisfaction, joy, creativity, and wholeness into your life. These are all the things that I have cultivated for myself in response to my chronic illness, my mental health, and my intuitive calling, but which I have hidden like a weasel from the whole damn world to protect myself.

As much as I would like to simply refer you to my new project, I have checked in with Me over the last couple of months, and I have chosen to recognize and honor that I do not feel comfortable sharing it publicly with you all. The truth is, a lot of people have used QS inappropriately. Part of me wants to be more open about this, but I do not wish to give attention where a reward is not deserved. The fact is: I cannot create a safe space in the world without guarding the fortress.

SO, if you would like to follow my new pursuit, you may contact me via e-mail at queensmithereen@gmail.com, and I will (most likely) tell you how to find me.

Before I depart, I do have one ask. I originally wrote this goodbye several weeks ago, but I waited to share, out of respect for recent current events. In the wake of George Floyd’s death, and the riots and protests that have rightfully erupted around the world, we have been witnessing some very powerful, albeit long overdue, social change. I ask that you all take some time to examine your own privilege, and also contribute by donating, learning, unlearning, and taking ownership. Here is a useful resource (but, there are MANY). Silence is violence--we need to be checking our own internalized beliefs, and using our privilege to approach those who are not behaving appropriately. You likely have not done everything perfectly in the past. I certainly haven’t. We need to make this world a better place. Throughout history, we have all been remiss. Change should have happened long ago. Now is the time to show UP to amplify the voices of those who have been marginalized in our society.

From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank you all for following me over the last number of years. This website has been my constant through many big, beautiful bursts of growth (and the associated awkwardness that comes along with taking up the amount of SPACE you take up when you get bigger and bigger and bigger). When many of you hit follow, you were voting confidence in me. That means the world. Thank you.

I sincerely love you all so much. Even if.

 

 

White Chocolate Coconut Carrot Cake







The Spring Playlist 2020


Friends, I have been quiet. I suppose I haven’t quite known what to say.

It feels remiss not to acknowledge the global atmosphere we are all currently feeling. I know many people in many different circumstances right now. I have seen some taking precautions, and some not taking precautions. I also know that some of you have been placed in a space of economic uncertainty, and I truly hope that the light at the end of the tunnel is fast approaching for you.

Speaking as one of the at-risk population right now, I will share that I have received some acknowledgement, and I have also received none. This is fairly standard.

Beyond the fact that I have been on chemotherapy for 11 years, I only very recently recovered from a couple-month battle with pneumonia. In November, in a clear moment of Wrong Place, Wrong Time, I caught someone’s sickness. The illness progressed and progressed until I was bedridden. A couple rounds of antibiotics, some liver problems, and a lot of rest later–I am recovered, just in time for a global pandemic.

I have heard a lot of commentary about how Coronavirus is only affecting the elderly and those with weakened immune systems. Those facts are often provided in an ignorant effort to offer comfort. The truth of the matter is, those elderly people deserve all the years they have left. The truth of the matter is, I do not look like there could be something happening underneath the surface. I never have. And very often, others like me are in the same boat.

When the moment arrives that someone is remiss with me-just as it has always been before a virus started spreading around the world-I simply know that I have encountered someone’s shadow. Their inability to provide tenderness or understanding to me is simply a reflection of their inability to do the same toward themselves.

[I know like I know that we are all learning.]

I don’t know how many of you have been impacted by the Coronavirus, whether deeply or superficially. I don’t know how many of you are like me, with compromised immune systems. It felt improper to share what I originally wanted to share with my Spring Playlist, which is a lovely thought that I might tell you about sometime.

I suppose I just wanted to provide a little transparency at a time when many of us are experiencing uncertainty. We don’t know if we’ve been exposed. We don’t know if we are carriers. We don’t know how our loved ones are doing. We don’t know how they will do, if they’ve been exposed. We don’t know if it’s safe to go out anywhere. We don’t know if we can trust each other. We don’t know when we will go back to normal. We don’t know what normal will mean after this. Many of us doubt whether the person whose hands are leading this country through a difficult time is very capable.

Which means that, in sharing this playlist right now, as winter turns to spring, I felt I had to say something. Even though I really don’t like admitting how sick I was recently, and I was hoping to continue on as if nothing had happened. Even if I have simply summarized some things that you knew generally. Even if you didn’t need to know about my history with my white blood cells or my lungs. Even if I can’t quite figure out what would be helpful right now. I feel like, for a world full of self-isolated and/or quarantined people, we are all in the middle of our own unique stories.

So, I hope that your story has an upswing. I hope the trials that might come before the upswing arrives are nothing you can’t handle. But mostly, I hope that you are able to find some comfort at this time. I hope that you are safe. I hope that you have all that you need. I hope that you know how to reach out. I hope that you can rest. I hope that your loved ones are safe. Or, I hope they get better. Thank you for going through the wave, whether it was begrudgingly or not. Above all, please know that there is one person, right here, who is wishing you well so hard that it cannot be undone.

Here is a playlist made for the turn of the season, shared in good faith that other tides are turning, too, even if we can’t quite see it yet.

I love you. ❤

Salty Potato Chip Toffee Crunch


Basque Burnt Cheesecake


Gingerbread Latte Cake [or, Coffee-Cardamom Cake with Gingerbread Cream Cheese Frosting]


The Winter Playlist 2019


Go to the limits of Your Longing

God speaks to each of us as he makes us,
then walks with us silently out of the night.

These are the words we dimly hear:

You, sent out beyond your recall,
go to the limits of your longing.
Embody me.

Flare up like a flame
and make big shadows I can move in.

Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don’t let yourself lose me.

Nearby is the country they call life.
You will know it by its seriousness.

Give me your hand.

-Rainer Maria Rilke

Red Velvet Cookies


Sweet Potato Cheesecake


Sweet Corn Mac and Cheese