Hibiscus Herbal Tea Blend

Hibiscus Herbal Tea Blend // Queen Smithereen.
I wrote another post for this and then I deleted it. It was about nothing, which wasn’t what I wanted to say. I have been known to get a little weird this time of year, anyway. It has been nearly half my life that I have been weird this time of year. Thirteen years. And I don’t quite know that the stopper that has unstopped can stop itself again, so here goes nothing:

I have started writing again. For reasons other than what you are about to learn, I couldn’t concentrate for the life of me these last twelve-ish months. This website is legitimately the only thing I used to do that I have kept up with relative ease. But I am writing again now. And I think sometimes we have to become comfortable sitting next to the things we cannot fathom because we couldn’t fathom them because why would we be grateful for the things that are difficult [because we grow, and that is why I am better than I once was]
Hibiscus Herbal Tea Blend // Queen Smithereen.
I have been writing, and I found this picture of my dad from a long time ago recently. I penned the words:

If only a hand held softly
the weight of the pear in its ripeness,
wrought with sugar and water
simple syrup, a lopsided hourglass

its heavier half resting in the folds of fingers
an interface shadow puppet
ft. Two Palms Cupping

and the last drop of sand
plummets

a         speck    of         light

in outer space
softly

Hibiscus Herbal Tea Blend // Queen Smithereen.
I found that picture in a pile of them at my mom’s and I wondered if it was a moment when I think he may have been happy, so I kept it. He liked coffee ice cream + pork chops with applesauce, and he told terrible jokes, and his middle name was Bartlett, like the pear. And I have two requests. First,

if you are depressed or you feel alone or you are suffering from something stigmatized, do not feel isolated. I know it is numbing. You are loved, and we want you here. Please Google or search for or dial a lifeline, like this one: 1-800-273-8255
Hibiscus Herbal Tea Blend // Queen Smithereen.
because sometimes I wonder if my dad and I could have been friends, had he made it this far, or if maybe we could have had the opportunity to be disconnected like families sometimes are, and if, then, he might wonder a couple things:

*how I became so fierce, flighty, feminist, full of fire (though it softens sometimes with safe persons) and
*where it came from (because I know where it came from, and it was not this)

But mostly, I wonder what might have happened had he felt loved. And I never asked for it, or talked about it, because I was young and it was difficult and I felt alone, too, and somehow I pulled myself out of that similar haze when it tried to pull me downward. But not all of us do. Second,
Hibiscus Herbal Tea Blend // Queen Smithereen.
I am asking for it now, because maybe it would help: would you, could you, will you, won’t you think of him and send love, thirteen years later, so that he might find it floating in the cosmos, because I think that time isn’t so linear / may be malleable and it doesn’t matter when this is happening or if it feels late, because I think it might help him out there in the stars to spot the North one so that it might guide him home

This is the magic of force, or the force of magic. This is the stuff that combines and transforms and turns water to brilliance. Color. This is how quickly things become other, like liquid befitting tea. Please. Like fuchsia that poofs from hibiscus (and lavender and figs and chamomile) as it meets its new form. Pink.

Send love, because it is warm and it is soothing and it is helpful.

[written while listening to Brushbloom Glow, which you can also find somewhere on my Blergh playlist]

One Year: Chili-Lemon Tomato Sauce with Sautéed Vegetables
Two Years: Matcha Mango Berry Smoothie
Three Years: Banana Berry Lavender Smoothie
Four Years: Cucumber Ciabatta Sandwiches with Spinach and Lemon-Mint Goat Cheese

Hibiscus Herbal Tea Blend
Makes about 1 1/2 cups

1 cup dried hibiscus flowers
1 tbsp dried chamomile
1 tbsp dried lavender
1/4 cup dried black mission figs, chopped into small pieces
rosewater, for serving

In a medium bowl, stir together hibiscus, chamomile, lavender, and figs. Store in an airtight container. Tea blend will last up to six months. To brew tea, heat filtered water to 205 degrees (this is for best results, #sorrynotsorry). Once heated, add a tiny splash of rosewater to the water when ready to steep. Pour rosy hot water over tea blend, covering and steeping one teaspoon of the tea blend for every 8oz of water for 5 minutes.

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