Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cream Pies


Don’t you believe in magic. Chubby fingers, a craving met in the cupboard from a cardboard box with singular packages of marshmallow-sandwiching oatmeal cookies. A voice. A statement. Always.

Who decides what is / what is not enough. When do we engage restraint. Why don’t we sometimes.

Is there a reason we feel entitled to understand? What kind takes ownership for another’s story.

Striking, the way we receive stories differently. My favorite kind of person to dispose of: the one that thinks they know better than you about you. But really, in the telling and retelling of certain stories, I have come to reflect that there is a sense of ownership for this kind of listener. Also: a lack of accountability for the interpretation. Of course. Because it was projected onto you. To them, it is still about you. Even when their portion of a story becomes Other.

No longer yours.

Mind-boggling, isn’t it, to think of all the ways that we collide. How we can stray from what felt right. How easily we can return to ourselves, and how challenging to reset all that has sprung from what was not aligned.

We are a strange group, as humans. Born into the world reliant on one another. We spend so much of our early lives being told what to do. Realignment. We might even come to expect an external redirection before considering our own. Sometimes, that’s necessary.

The external world, providing and observing and obtruding. Sometimes, unnecessary. Being told and told and told and told and so, you hide.

And then, one day. You are reminded of who you are. Colorful fields and visions. Hands arched over rocks to feel. Hair wet, eyes still sleepy, a dress to walk down the hallway and ask to look. Find: a watch that once belonged to someone who loved you and who made you feel loved, who isn’t here in form anymore. You slide it onto your left wrist upside down and you feel your chest become light and you see that the watch has begun to tick again. You sob on your way home to the one who birthed you that you feel like you are yourself again.

Then, the watch turns to 2017. Here, now. Years. It took years. What a long and a short trip home. In which: light from ground and up above meeting in the middle

-you-

and outputting this chocolate chip, chocolate chipped version of a thing your dad used to buy for you when you were a kid.

This story is mine. And it is magic.

One Year: Brown Butter, Cinnamon, and Smoked Almond Crinkle Cookies
Two Years: Toasted Marshmallow Crispy Treats
Three Years: Pepper Jack Orecchiette Mac and Cheese
Four Years: Jumbo Banana Muffins with Coconut, Pecans, and Chocolate Chips

Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cream Pies
Makes 9 sandwiches

Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies:
1/2 cup oats
1 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp ground ginger
pinch ground cardamom
1 stick unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup granulated sugar
1 tbsp blackstrap molasses
1/4 tsp princess emulsion
2 eggs
1 egg yolk
1/2 cup mini semisweet chocolate chips

Chocolate Chip Cream:
4 oz cream cheese, at room temperature
1 stick unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups confectioners sugar
1/4 cup mini semisweet chocolate chips

Cookies: Preheat oven to 325 degrees Fahrenheit and line a baking sheet with parchment paper. In a small bowl, whisk together oats, flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, ginger, and cardamom. In a large bowl, beat together butter, sugar, and molasses until light and fluffy, about two minutes. Beat in princess emulsion. Beat in eggs and egg yolk, one at a time. Stir in mini chocolate chips until just combined. Measure batter into even tablespoonfuls, spacing the dough about two inches apart on the baking sheet, as the cookies will spread. Bake for 10 min, rotating halfway through. Transfer cookies to cooling rack to cool completely. Repeat with remaining cookie dough.

Cream: Beat together cream cheese and butter until smooth. Beat in vanilla. Beat in confectioner’s sugar in 1/2 cupfuls until smooth and creamy. Fold in chocolate chips.

Assembly: Once the cookies are cooled completely, take one cookie and spread 2 tablespoons of cream onto the flat side of the cookie. Top with another cookie. Serve. Cookies can be wrapped individually in parchment paper or aluminum foil, and will keep up to 3 days.

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