I left my job (and my amazing health insurance) of 6+ years. Starbucks brought so many wonderful people (lol and also, a lot of ridiculously particular and easily perturbed people) into my life. In leaving, the first thing I noticed was the sleep. Or rather, that part was pointed out to me. Within a week or so, I heard how rested I looked.
And then, in a moment of, Why the fuck not? I applied for a job in my field. This job at this place had been a whisper in my ear for SEVEN YEARS. This time around, I didn’t really consider what it would look like, if it happened. I just felt I should, so I did.
And oddly, I have to say that
I am in love.
You just never know how things might turn out. But here is a piece of advice: if you feel like there is something itching beneath the surface for you to at least take a peek, then by all means. And if, after looking, you decide to take a step, then take a step.
You don’t always have to know why you sense you ought to do something. Beyond that, it doesn’t have to look anything like anyone suspected, if you do. And, you don’t have to do it right now, because it will wait.
But, I am more than sure that somebody somewhere has read this now and considered peeking at the inkling of a marvelous idea that could lead to a step and, eventually, a change-big or small-and if you are that person, then I just want it to be documented that I have been believing all along.
Today would have been my grandmother’s birthday. Each and every year, we have celebrated her just before my favorite turn of the seasons. When the sun gets bright yellow like egg yolk and the pavement is hot enough to fry.
For those of you who don’t remember, my grandmother passed away last summer. It felt unexpected, but truthfully, she had been mentally gone in that nursing home for a long while.
I suppose I just thought she would be there forever. I wanted her to always be around.
But, you know, I am grateful to have known someone I felt that way about.
She hated having her picture taken, so a lot of the images I have of her look something like this. I like my people with a little personality. It’s so strange to think I wasn’t even alive when this one was taken.
But this was her.
And so, with the fresh waning of the moon and the shift of spring to summer, here we are. Playlist in hand.
(Her favorite song is toward the end of the list, and I know like I know she is waltzing to it somewhere.)